Once A Dancer...

Last night I was feeling anxious and just could not sleep. After tossing and turning for about an hour, I decided to open up my computer and watch some ballet. My two "go-to" videos are The Nutcracker with Macaulay Culkin (which I grew up on and it will never get old) and Sylvie Guillem's performance in Cinderella (which is what I ended up watching). I've always been amazed by Guillem's extensions and performance style, not to mention I absolutely love the Opera national de Paris' choreography. There's this really great part when she's dancing with the broom and sweeping it around in circles; I'm always mesmerized by the fluidity of the movements.

When I was younger, I was obsessed with analyzing professional ballerina's performances and teaching myself different solos. Slowly, as I grew older and realized dancing professionally was not in the cards for me, I stopped searching the internet for ballet videos. I gave up on something I was truly passionate about. Lately I've started to notice just how much I feel like I'm missing without dance in my life.

But deep down I know that dance will never really leave me. I still do pirouettes in my kitchen and choreograph dances in my sleep. When I hear certain songs, they will always flood me with memories of dancing. I was back at my old studio last weekend for a friend's Bachelorette Party and it still felt like returning home after a few years of being away. Dancing will always make me feel alive. It helps me focus. It gives me strength and hope. It makes me feel like I'm creating something positive and beautiful. Dance has always given my body a purpose. It reminds me to be thankful for these imperfect bones because despite being imperfect I'm still able to move.

Once a dancer, always a dancer. Whether I'm actually taking classes or not, I will never stop dancing.

-S